Coda This!
by Suki59
Summary: After posting the Weekly One Shot Challenge for week 45 (2013), I decided to write a coda of my own. Here's the page for the letter S. Oh, and here are some more letters as well ...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Charlaine Harris owns all this.**

**S**

**Remy Savoy** lived a long life and had a bunch of adventures (which I might write about later if I can remember some more details about this guy).

**Hunter Savoy **grew up and decided he'd no longer feel sorry for himself and think of his telepathy as a "disability" as his dysfunctional family had always made him believe. He went to medical school, and became the leading researcher in brain activity, eventually curing Alzheimer's disease and dementia which won him the Nobel Prize. He married a fellow researcher and had two children who inherited his gifts.

**Delia Shurtliff** did a bunch of stuff that still made it impossible for people to remember her, and died in obscurity.

**Jason Stackhouse** left his job with the parish and founded a non-profit organization to help the inbred families of Hot Shot. With financial assistance, many were able to go to college and get out of that hell hole. Some followed Jason's example and returned to give back to their community. Jason's wife, Michele, spearheaded the Hot Shot Library Project (later known as the Stackhouse Library), and wiped out illiteracy in Hot Shot within a decade. Jason and Michele had two children, Marie and Corbett. Marie, a telepathic beauty like her aunt, grew up to be a beauty pageant contestant—just kidding! That's not a career. She became a doctor and joined her cousin, Hunter Savoy, in his research, later opening a facility in Vienna. Corbett won the marriage jackpot by marrying a rich lawyer—also kidding! He actually became a rich lawyer and married a federal judge. Their daughter, Hadley Stackhouse, cured Lupus, which although isn't contagious, had become widespread in women's prisons.

_**[Imagine a beautiful and very large drawing of Sookie in a wedding dress here—one so large that it takes up an entire page.]**_

**Sookie Stackhouse** planned a big wedding to Sam in which she'd wear white because that's the color brides wear at weddings. She and Sam argued about which church they'd have the ceremony in, and decided that was too boring to argue about, even for them. They agreed to have a reception at Fangtasia even though Sookie had been banned from there for life. They thought the hideous vampire décor designed to draw tourists into the bar would make a beautiful backdrop for the wedding photos, and Sookie hoped Pam would send some of the photos to Eric because Sookie was too immature to pick up a phone and talk to him. It was far easier to have a big wedding, marry a guy she didn't love, and hope to make Eric jealous with the wedding photos.

Eric sent a set of silver flatware as a wedding gift and two books entitled The Meaning of Silver as a Gift from Vampires and The Symbolism of Giving Knives to a Bride. It took Sookie an hour to write the thank you note because she wasn't very bright. She thought the silverware was really pretty and hauled it out for holidays until the Thanksgiving Pam was burned when she touched one of the spoons and took the entire set and stuffed it through the fairy portal in the woods behind Sookie's house, mumbling something about someone being too thick to "get it."

Sookie and Sam had four children, the last being a complete surprise because Sookie forgot how to count the days of the month. Neal and Jennings came first, apparently twins because otherwise they'd be described as coming first and second. Adele and Jillian Tara were born after the boys. Sookie and Sam hoped to send them all through college so they started holding wedding receptions at the bar and catering parties, saving almost enough to put one child through community college for two years. The rest were on their own because their parents were unaware of how much a college degree would actually cost, much less four of them.

Jennings inherited his mother's telepathy, and she constantly told him he was disabled and cursed. Unlike his successful telepathic cousins who went into brain research, Jennings spiraled down a dark path of self-loathing that ended in a fatal heroin overdose when he was nineteen. His twin, Neal, suffered terrible guilt because he was the favorite son due to his lack of telepathy, and after two years studying marketing at Red Ditch Community College, he moved to New Orleans and went to work for the Salvation Army. Adele and Jillian Tara fought a lot with their mother and became strippers at Fangtasia when they turned eighteen. Adele was killed at twenty by an abusive boyfriend, and Jillian Tara was turned by Pam when she was twenty-five. Eventually, Jillian Tara and Eric fell in love and remained devoted mates for many decades after Eric killed Freyda and became the King of North Carolina.

Sookie and Sam had a good marriage because they compromised and talked about their feelings. Sookie caved and let Sam have affairs with trashy shifter woman as a compromise, and told him how she felt by calling him an asshole almost daily. When they saw Eric on television, Sookie drank more than usual.

Niall gave Sam and Sookie an invitation to the Summerlands, which Sam interpreted as a death threat. Sookie put the invitation in her lockbox at the bank, but was unable to retrieve it later, not realizing fairy magic can't be contained in a lockbox. Both Sookie and Sam thought about Niall's offer all the time, longing for an escape from the tedious lives they'd chosen for themselves, but were unable to do anything about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This started as just a one shot with the "S" page of my coda, but I've decided to keep going and to share some other letters as well. For those of you who are familiar with my stories, I know you'll be shocked as I've only done this twelve other times. These are in no particular order. And I know each letter should have its own page, but I'm trying to save internet paper and so I put them all together.**

**H**

**Catfish Hennessey** legally changed his name from Hunter to Hennessey and continued to be content with the dullest life imaginable.

**Alcide Herveaux** married a werelynx named Callie Brown, and they had five children. Three were boys who inherited Herveaux and Sons. Of the two girls, one won the Miss Louisiana contest. Like most pageant contestants, she was heavily in debt by the time she won, and sold some of her winnings—the fur coat and tiara, among them. She moved to Monroe to take advantage of the scholarship she'd won, but within six months she was out of money, couldn't get student loans due to her pageant debt, and turned to prostitution to pay the bills her scholarship didn't cover, eventually dropping out of college. The younger daughter worked as a social worker, went to law school at night, and later successfully sued her parents and her brothers for her portion of the family business as well as her sister's. She went on to become the first female packmaster of the Longtooth Pack, and once when her father referred to her as a "packmistress," she killed him.

**Barry Horowitz (Bellboy)** had the word Bellboy legally removed from his name because it was stupid and made no sense after he no longer worked as an actual bellboy. He moved to Seattle and had a very interesting life. If you send me a check for $14.95, I'll tell you what happened to him.

**R**

**Pam Ravenscroft** continued to be a successful manager of Fangtasia and instituted hugely popular promotions for which she became known. One wild idea was "Ladies Free Night," which was also known as "Ladies Night" and had been known by that phrase for many decades in other bars. Being the character she was, Pam wore a wedding dress at her wedding and visited Sookie Stackhouse often. Shortly after that, it was discovered that she had been cursed by a witch and was under a lobotomy spell. Once the spell was removed, she returned to her original personality, turned Sookie's daughter, and helped Eric plan and execute Freyda's murder.

**L**

FBI Special Agent **Tom Lattesta** was killed in the line of duty by members of FotS. It was probably a very interesting story, but I don't feel like telling it.

**Maxwell Lee** became known as a Louisiana vampire. He found that fact to be quite fascinating, although no one else did.

**Layla Larue Lemay** and her maker/lover, Sean, continued to dance. They were invited to work on the vampire version of Dancing with the Stars, but the show didn't last as a result of Layla and Sean being the only actual vampire dancers, making it impossible to have any "winners."

The **Lisle **family remained based in Wright, Texas. Some of them went into the Army or became members of the clergy. Some had children and grandchildren, but it became impossible for anyone to actually care about any of this.

**Dr. Amy Ludwig** continues to treat the most dangerous supernatural creatures in the world, but fears having her clinic robbed most of all. She hired the twins Dixie and Dixon Mayhew to guard her clinic in their panther form, and then performed the very first "supe-change" operations on them and made them Weres instead—all so she could justify calling them Weres in a coda she was writing about her patients.

**Dahlia Lynley-Chivers** lives in Rhodes and has had many adventures, but they are secrets.

**U**

**India Unger** married Gwen Long, a physical therapist, and they adopted a boy with a cleft palate. She became a manager at Denny's, stayed with her wife, and continued to be a mother. Are you still awake?

**E**

**Immanuel Earnest **continued to be a hairdresser.

**Russell Edgington** continued to be the King of Mississippi.

**Helen Ellis** continued to be a FotS member.

Lots of other people whose last name begins with an E stayed exactly the same for the rest of their lives because I was too lazy to write them any other lives.

**_[Maybe insert a nice big picture here for interest. How about a wolf or a bloody coffin? Oh, I know-put Bill Compton here watching Sookie from her family's graveyard.]_**

**C**

**Bill Compton **built a secret daybed for Karin in his house because he'd found that the vampires who slept in beds that weren't secret got staked frequently. He's no dummy. Karin found that Bill was too boring for her to continue a sexual relationship with him, but they remained business colleagues. Bill started a video game company, which was a natural fit as his customers seemed to have the same level of maturity as Bill. He was arrested for stalking Sookie Stackhouse Merlotte fourteen times, and convicted of twenty felonies in which he had promised to turn humans in exchange for their slave labor. After serving his time (during which his video game company had made him rich even though it was Karin's hard work that had made it a success), Bill bought the state of Louisiana from Felipe de Castro and became its king. No one ever told Bill that he was the only vampire ever duped into paying money for a state.

**Alfred Cumberland** shot some more photos since he was a photographer.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'd like to say thank you to my dear friend who has loaned me her copy of After Dead, since I didn't buy it. I'd say her name, but I don't want to embarrass her for spending the money. She knows who she is, so thank you!**

**M**

**McKenna** continued working at Tara's Togs, but never got a last name in spite of marrying somebody's cousin, so she's relegated to the M page forever.

**Sister Mendoza** stayed in Wright and tried with all her might to be memorable, but she just couldn't pull it off even with a name like "Sister."

**Bernadette Merlotte** had a "very good time" with her new husband. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

**Craig** and **Deidra Lisle Merlotte **presented Bernie with a granddaughter, but she unfortunately shifted and ate the baby. Later, they had a litter of boys and jobs too boring to describe.

**Sam Merlotte **settled just like Sookie had and lived a dull life, eventually heading to Thailand to spice things up in the world of human trafficking. Then he went to China where he accidentally shifted and was cooked and eaten as a dog.

**V**

**Judith Vardamon **ran Bill Compton's video game company while he was in prison, making him a very rich man, and was rewarded with a lame "secret" daybed in his house. After he bought the state of Louisiana from Felipe de Castro and became King, Bill once said in public that he "never found it in him to return Judith's affection," at which time she beheaded him with only her fingernails as a weapon. The headlines all over Louisiana read, "King Compton 'bought' it again." He remained the laughing stock of the supernatural world for centuries. Judith became the Queen of Louisiana.

**D**

**Felipe de Castro** became known as the "great vampire swindler" when he sold Louisiana to Bill Compton. He told Bill he needed the money to rebuild two casinos in Las Vegas after an earthquake, but of course, everyone but Bill knew that insurance money would pay for that. That's what insurance is for. Later, he sold Arkansas to Red Rita who became known as "Rube Rita." She thought the nickname was a dig at Arkansas, but it was really because people thought her a hayseed for being so easily duped. Felipe told her it was too "complicated and cumbersome" to run multiple states, kind of like it was for the U.S. government.

**JB du Rone **ruined his marriage by being a trashy slut. He was married "two or three" more times, but too stupid to know which it was. He was killed in a nursing home when an aide hit him over the head with a bedpan during an attempted sexual assault. She told the police, "God, they never give up, do they?"

**Tara Thornton du Rone **set a world record by being married a second time for ten minutes. In her interview for the paper, she said, "Yes, it was short but hey, at least I know how many times I've been married." She felt forced to pay for JB's funeral because he died penniless. The staff at the nursing home told her in JB's senility, he always thought he was still married to Tara, "his true wife." She replied, "God, they never give up, do they?"

**B**

**Connie Babcock** changed jobs.

**Doke**,** Mindi**,** Mason** and **Bonnie Ballinger** decided that if they shared an entry in this coda, perhaps people would remember who they were better, but they were all wrong.

**Batanya** and **Clovache** have had many adventures in many strange situations, starting with the sharing of their coda page in spite of only one of them having a "B" name. Clovache wanted to separate and go to the C page, but Batanya pointed out that she could easily be forgotten over there with the likes of Cyndee, Porter Carpenter, and Charles Clausen. Clovache countered with the argument that all the Ballingers are forgotten and it's been less than a minute since they were read about. They couldn't decide which page was worse, so for now, they're lumped together and have agreed to be "Bs."

**Alcee** and **Barbara Beck** went to Hawaii and returned constantly smiling about an inside joke about their underwear that no one else seemed to get.

**Jane Bodehouse** died sitting on a toilet because writing her living her life on a barstool just wasn't degrading enough.

**Boom** worked on the bomb squad in Rhodes until he retired. Then he took a part-time job as a greeter at Wal-Mart and now goes by Howdy (see H).

**Amelia Broadway** had a son with Bob and named him after a cartoon cat because they just couldn't be reminded of that whole cat-thing enough. When they divorced, they shared custody of Felix until he was eighteen. Then Amelia got full custody even though Felix argued that he was an adult and that wasn't legal. She agreed it made no sense, but stuck to her guns "because it's written that way in a coda."

**J**

**Bob Jessup** had a witch funeral arranged by the coven, and it was incredible. You'd probably like a little more description other than just that vague word, but then you'd probably like the imagined illustrations in this coda to be in color too. Too bad.

**W**

**Quiana Wong** opened a psychic business in New Orleans called The World of Wong, started wearing and selling kimonos and sporting a "fantastic" hairdo until she was contacted by the League of Asian-Americans and asked to stop perpetuating stereotypes. She argued with them, stating , "If Luna Garza can become the face of Latina two-natureds and move to New Mexico, I don't see why I can't look like a frikking geisha. And don't even get me started on that Indira chick."

**T**

**Thalia** started a blog, _Thalia's Thoughts_, and it was a huge success in Internet terms—so huge, in fact, that the word internet has to be capitalized when describing her success. It was Big.

**David** and **Genevieve Thrash** finally tracked down Sookie years after she'd warned them in time to escape disaster at Sophie-Anne's party house in New Orleans. Sookie didn't remember them any better than we have though, and had them arrested for stalking (what she called "pulling a Bill").

**Q**

**Frannie Quinn** was a waitress, got married, and lost her mother to old age. She often tried to tell her life story on the bus on her way to work, but most people were unable to stay awake.

**John Quinn** became a very beautiful fur coat given as a prize in the Miss Louisiana pageant, and even animal rights activists didn't care that he was killed for his fur. A bunch of other things happened to him first though. If you don't know what they are, then just try and figure them out for yourself. Stop relying on my imagination and use your own.

**A/N: I realize some of these entries are a bit short, but if you add in some imagined pictures it should fill out some. If you're still dissatisfied and want your money back, I say, "Yeah, good luck with that." Oh wait, I wasn't the one to say that. My mistake.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to those to have shared this story on your blogs and on Amazon, and of course, to all who have followed, favorited, reviewed, and PM'd me, reminding me what a great addiction this is.**

**N**

**Sarah Newlin **developed health problems while in jail. She contracted lupus, type two diabetes, sickle-cell anemia, alcoholism, fourteen kinds of cancer, a torn hamstring, bipolar disorder, and became allergic to peanuts just like her cellmate. When she was released, the only people she could get to pick her up were in their sixties—older than any person she could possibly imagine. When she died during a horrible gallstone outbreak, twenty-five people attended her funeral, all of whom had broken a record crowding into a phone booth—a practice that had gone out of style long before Sarah had been born and of which she'd never heard. In fact, she hadn't even seen a phone booth since she was a child, and yet people still referenced them when discussing her death.

**Calvin Norris** and **Tanya Grissom Norris** remained married until they split up because she was dead. The panther responsible for killing her was shipped to a far away land where he would no longer be a danger to society—all the way to Montana. Later, Calvin became the inspiration for the HBO series, _Hung_, and died in a house full of people—mostly women waiting in line for a piece of that.

**_[Insert a picture of Eric here, and make his vampire cape really, really large even though he wears just normal clothes, but probably in very large sizes.]_**

**Eric Northman** threw himself into his role as Freyda's consort. He was surprised to see that Quinn was planning the ceremony, shocked when the flowers were delivered by a florist, and flummoxed when a caterer showed up to serve the food. But then someone pointed out that these people were professionals in their fields and he settled down a bit. After a couple of years, Eric convinced everyone that he was genuinely attached to Freyda, his jailor and the person who had made him a sexual slave for the second time in his long undead existence.

Pam sent him a photo of Sookie in her wedding dress at Fangtasia (from which she had been banned-WTF?), and it hurt him deeply just as he imagined Sookie had hoped it would. He tore up the photo so Freyda wouldn't punish him, but the image had been burned into his mind's eye for eternity.

Freyda didn't question his loyalty after he'd destroyed Sookie's photo, which was the result he'd hoped for. She was strong but fair, not unlike his maker had been when he'd kept Eric as a slave. To the outside world, they were a loyal couple, but every night was torture for Eric as his free will was denied him.

After a number of years hearing Pam say that Sookie seemed to be resigned to stay with her husband, Eric lost any inclination to pine for the past, and began to show signs of Stockholm Syndrome. By this time, Pam had been released from a curse in which her personality had been removed, and she pointed out to Eric that he needed to fight to regain his liberty and to ensure his survival.

Pam and Eric planned to murder Freyda and release Eric from his confinement after twenty years in his prison, but the result was a bloodbath. Eric and Pam failed, and their co-conspirators were murdered. Freyda made it known far and wide that Eric was responsible for the deaths of her would-be assassins, and tightened her hold on him further, sending the message that he would double-cross anyone who dared to conspire with him against her. He pretended to be happier after that.

Sookie's children had begun to come of age, and Eric died inside as he heard reports of Compton failing to protect them. Sookie's eldest child, a telepath no less, died of a drug overdose while Compton was at a video game conference in New Orleans. Eric became inconsolable for years, only finding solace in the news that Pam had turned Sookie's youngest child, a strong and beautiful young woman named Jillian Tara. Her sister, Adele had died at the hands of a useless human she'd had a relationship with and thankfully, Pam tore him limb from limb afterwards. Eric grieved her wasted life.

On the day Eric heard that Sookie had died of a stroke while in a nursing home, Freyda offered to free him from his second century of marriage, claiming it was their fiftieth anniversary (Eric had lost count of the years). He was too despondent to see the point and passed on her offer.

Shortly afterwards, Eric asked to have a child, and Freyda allowed him to turn Pam's day man, a blue-eyed blond man with the loyalty of a basset hound.

Pam, Eric's new child, and Jillian Tara helped Eric plan Freyda's murder, but it was Eric who drove the stake into her chest, ending a half a century of oppression and an existence barely worth living. Eric realized he had been sending a dangerous message to both his children—that being a sexual slave was perfectly fine, and that eventually, you could learn to tolerate it—even seem to like it. He vowed he'd never be taken again, even if it meant fighting to the end.

Once he was free of his captor, he moved to North Carolina where his newest child was from, found a place in the vampire hierarchy, took control of his own destiny for the first time in decades, and became the King of the North Carolina.

Having re-established his life and finding a new purpose in running the state, he finally felt whole again, and fell in love with Pam's child (originally Sookie's child), Jillian Tara.

Together, they lived the life he'd only dreamed of with her mother, and found peace and happiness in her embrace.

XXX

**A/N: Yes, I realize I've left out quite a few characters, but I hope I've hit on the important ones. I just didn't have the heart to make you slog through the rest. Even though I give Charlaine Harris a hard time in my parodies, I feel the need to declare that I also owe her a huge debt of gratitude for creating the world of the Southern Vampire Mysteries and the characters that I love so much. Because of her work, I found fanfiction, made many new friends, and felt inspired to write my own original fiction. I hope to announce the release date of my first novel soon. Please watch for ****_Drop Dead Gorgeous_**** by Suki McMinn. And if you're a writer as well, my publisher, Temptress Press, is open for submissions.**

**Another A/N: Days after posting this, I realized I'd mixed up Karin the Slaughterer and Judith Vardamon. In SVM circles, this phenomenon is known as "pulling a Clancy," since CH mixed up Chow and Clancy in the books. I decided not to go back and fix my mistake, but to leave it as yet another homage to CH. Actually, I'll just say here that any and all other mistakes you find in this are homages as well. That works for me.**

**Oh, and yes, I'm quite certain my trusty beta, Thyra10, would have caught this, but she was sick in bed with the flu when I wrote this and I didn't have the heart to ask for her help. Lesson learned.**


End file.
